We stopped freaking out about the “Oh my god, women want to wear pants!” thing a really long time ago. Women wandered into the traditionally masculine realms of self-expression and ambition and now it’s just normal.
Not so with masculinity. It is still as rigid and well defended as ever, despite a few David Bowies or Johnny Depps in the mix. Just look at last year’s total freaking meltdown about a J. Crew catalog that carried a photo of a woman painting her young son’s toenails. Just look at the way the more delicate boys of the world are bullied by their classmates and accused of being gay. Just look at the gender imbalance in the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder in children, with gender disordered pre-pubescent boys outnumbering girls at a rate of up to 30 to 1. When a girl is boyish, or even claims she’d rather be a boy, it’s cute. She’s a tomboy. When a boy is girlish, wanting to wear dresses or try on some makeup, it’s a mental disorder and needs an immediate medical intervention.
The Smart Set: Walk Like a Man - May 16, 2012 (via sociolab)
This is cute, but I just have a few thoughts on the subject.
The idea that it is ‘cute’ for a woman to act masculine, or when she identifies herself as something other than a girl (such as a boy), is really fucked up. Women get so little respect for their gender variance, and trans men are lumped into a similar category of ‘oh well it isn’t a big deal because you’re just a silly girl in pants’. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we put masculinity, or more accurately maleness up on a pedestal and all things that are not ‘male enough’ don’t get to count in that spectrum.
This also leads to policing those who have been ‘gifted’ with maleness, even those who don’t want it. It tells them they have something sacred, something that must be upheld at all costs. Even when it makes you sad. Even when you don’t identify as a male in the slightest. (And what is this bullshit of talking about GID in this anyways? Get out of here, trans issues are not the same as issues of sexism and you obviously do not know what you are talking about)
And what is maleness and femaleness anyways? Everyone is always walking around, watching for those things, trying to fit into those things, and I’m pretty sure none of us actually know what were doing at all. We’re all just freaking lost and telling ourselves that if we fuck up we’re kicked out of the gender club.
But we’re never kicked out, membership is decided at birth and we’re not allowed to leave, not without filling out the form that confirms ‘sexual reassignment surgery was completed’.
For any variance of masculinity and femininity, we need space for all forms. If you want to be taken seriously as a boy who likes pink, you’ll need to stand up for girls liking blue too (and not just in a demeaning, patronizing way). And you’ll need to stand up for the kids who don’t like either, and the ones who like both. And you’ll need to let people self-identify instead of telling them who they are and who that means they must be.
(via ftmark)A Study in Ehehehehe | The Full Body Flailing Edition
he’s appalled by your messy wings dear aziraphale
okay I’ll go to bed